Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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