There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
