my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
