Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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