we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
