Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
only if we run a train.
done.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
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Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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