it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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