dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
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