Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
