Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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