He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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