ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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