i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
