I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
