new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
