Banned from zoo.
Again?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
