Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
