if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
