I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
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