I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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