I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I am mentally ready for anal.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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