On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
