This girl is more easily done than said...
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
