I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
