Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
