What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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