sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
