Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
birth control should be required to get into college
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize
