Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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