How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
