Sorry, I don't speak sober.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
