this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
