listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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