i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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