one two three fourrrrnication!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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