whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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