recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
