im about as happy as oj after his trial
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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