the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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