I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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