4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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