Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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