Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
