Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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