I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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