Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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