Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
