On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
