I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
