Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize