Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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