is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
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