FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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