first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
