so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
