i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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