tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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