We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
