my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
