whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I miss vodka workout Fridays
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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