now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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