thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
