return my video game
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
