ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
God, I missed his penis.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
