I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
