Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
