i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
