He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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