About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
