So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
