i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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